The art and science of persuasion is an interesting topic because the biggest fans of “persuasion techniques” are usually scumbags, looking for ways to brainwash prospect customers or the opposite sex, for nefarious purposes.
On the other hand, persuasion used to further positive business goals, put win-win deals together and create impact can only be a good thing.
I put the word “Jedi” into the title of this post for the following reasons:
- Jedis are all-powerful and can convince anyone of anything.
- Jedis play for the “light side of the force” and believe in doing the right thing.
- I’m a closet geek and grew up wishing I had my own light saber.
So today I’m going to share a psychological strategy for persuasion, that only works if you’re using it for the right reasons. It’s also the most powerful persuasion technique of them all.
People who get interested in persuasion spend a lot of time studying body language, hypnotic commands and all kinds of psychological hocus-pocus. That stuff can work, but it usually requires a degree of expertise possessed by only the most elite Jedi mind-ninjas… and even then, it all pales in comparison to the technique I’m about to share here. A technique, by the way, that can be mastered (easily and quickly) by anyone.
So what is the ultimate, secret, Jedi mind-ninja, ass-kicking formula for face-numbing irresistible persuasion?
When we persuade, we’re trying to get someone to DO something. No matter if it’s buying our product, doing what we say, agreeing with us or following our instructions, we have to share a lot of information.
Most of us focus on telling people:
What is going on, what we want you to do, what the problem (or solution) is
Where we want you to do what we want
When we want you to do it…. (now, or maybe next week)
Who we want to take the action
HOW to do what we want you to do
And most people think that last one is the most important. Most sale’s pitches, for example, are focused on “This is what we’ve got, this is HOW you buy it”.
Most parents tell this their kids “This is what you’re doing (wrong). This is HOW to do better. Do it!”
Giving people the what, where, when, who and HOW is useful because it shares crucial information… but it doesn’t create any form of motivation or inspiration.
It doesn’t ignite a desire to take action in the listener. In other words, it isn’t persuasive. So what it?
One word: Why.
The one piece of psychologically savvy information that most managers, sales people, entrepreneurs and parents forget to leave out is the word “WHY” and the information that answering it could provide.
“Here is why I want you to do this…”
… Are the magic words that begin a highly persuasive sentence.
“Here is why you might want to do this…”
… Lights a persuasive fire the likes of which you’ve never seen.
Explaining the reasons why someone would want to do something is the secret formula for persuading anyone to do anything. With one exception.
You can’t persuade someone to do something totally out of their interests, because you could never find a powerful enough “reason why”. Thus, people attempting to play on the “dark-side of the force” will fail.
Explaining “why” creates a rational behind the action you are suggesting. It connects the listener (or prospect) with the emotional advantage of doing what you say. The listener, upon hearing a relevant “why”, begins to feel motivated and excited as they imagine the ultimate “What’s in it for me.”
To be persuasive, in your sales pitches or communication in general, focus more on explaining why you want people to do things. Focus less on what you actually want them to do, or how, or when. If you focus on the rational (on the “Why”) then people will find a way. They’ll seek out the information they need to take action. Hell, they’ll come to you with questions.
As entrepreneurs, explaining why we do what we do makes all the difference. It defines the way we market our businesses.
As leaders of people, explaining why our followers would want to do what we suggest creates a loyalty that can’t be bought. “Why” is the very definition of vision and it is what separates exceptional leaders from the wannabes.
The trickiest part of tapping into people’s “Why” is being able to connect with the reasoning that matters, for that particular individual. Us humans are a diverse bunch and the rational that ignites your motivation, may not necessarily light a fire under others.
Successful entrepreneurs understand the psychology of their customers, so they can easily tap into the reasons “Why” that persuade customers to buy product. Fantastic leaders know their followers like the back of their hand and can create the same buy-in for ideas and actions.
If you want to learn persuasion skills, or the art of influence, matching people’s body language will only get you so far. Embedded commands and hypnosis tricks are probably a waste of time.
If you clearly communicate the reasoning, the “Why”, behind every action you suggest you’ll be well on your way to becoming a Jedi Master. Light saber and robes are optional.
What do you think? What powerful persuasion strategies do you have in your arsenal?
This reminds me of that TED video about the guy who used Apple and its WHY as an example of how to influence people and draw them in. It matches customers and products on a very core level, smack in the values center. Gotta love that!
Great post Peter – understating the “WHY” is some powerful stuff. Awesome insights.
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James the TED video you’re referring to is by Simon Sinek. He talks about how “Starting with WHY” is the most powerful way to grow a brand. He also refers to the golden circle which deals with psychology – right up Peter’s ally.
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If you haven’t seen the video yet Peter you should check it out. I’ll post the link if you like.
Yes! That’s the one! Couldn’t remember his name for the life of me, but I really enjoyed that one. (And watching him perform. Bit of a smug one, isn’t he?)
Yeah, I’ve seen Simon Sinek’s video. It’s a great principal and super critical when applied to business strategy.
My goal with this post was to break it down in the area of persuasion, but it is super important elsewhere too.
Another area is in training/teaching. By providing a contextual “Why” before you teach someone something, you can engage them hugely and make the learnings solidify easier. This is why kids hate learning math so much – most regular teachers off no “Why” and instead focus on What and How.
James I have to agree, ha ha.
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Peter that is so true, I always asked my grade school teachers “why” do we have to learn (insert subject) and the response was always – “because you have to.” It never got me motivated to learn.
Maybe this is the reason I forced myself to learn other subject on my own because I knew “why” I wanted to learn them.
Tony, this was a big problem for me at school too. What’s interesting is that I *did* have teachers who really switched me on to certain subjects…. inspirational people, who just mystically seemed to know how to motivate me.
In hindsight, it was because they were explaining the Why. Funny that. 😉
You made me grin with your mention of teaching, school, switched-off students and WHY. Reminds me of a recent situation with my teen:
https://menwithpens.ca/emotional-benefit
Exactly. That letter of yours is a superb example of a really effective use of the Why technique.
I’ve got to make a confession: you copywriters have known about this stuff for ages. You’re experts at it. This principal is nothing new – it’s just communicating the benefits. I knew this when I wrote this post.
However…. what I’ve noticed is that people don’t use the Why technique in their interpersonal communication. That’s what my point *really* is here. Why limit your best selling techniques to copy? Why not unleash them in conversation to sell IDEAS too?
*rant over*
Influence and motivation are my favorite topic, so I just had to share my thoughts on it 🙂
I think that bottom line people feel motivated and want to do certain things if those things subjectively bring value into their lives. And this applies both at the professional and personal level. That is the only real way you can motivate or influence someone.
Now, the challenge is to understand the specific values of each person and to find a way of motivating her using her values, not yours. This does require good communication, and relationships management skills.
Best,
Eduard
Hi Eduard, thanks for stopping by!
You’re right about bringing value. When you explain “Why” to someone, you’re essentially communicating the value to them.
Being able to find the relevant Why (or value) for any individual is the challenge that faces any salesperson. Flexibility is critical. People have different criteria and what persuades one person won’t work with another.
James, I immediately thought of the same video while reading this post. It’s well worth watching.
Peter, I completely agree with you. In every field I’ve worked in, from training to project management to marketing and more, communicating the “why” is essential to success. This is the first post of yours I’ve read, but I’m sure from this strong start I’ll enjoy browsing more.
Thanks for visiting the site Karilee! It’s good to have you here 🙂
Another awesome insight which I will be using very soon for the next launch of another eBook that I am currently writing for my niche market. If I am able to I will come back here and let the results be known. I’m now going to write down some of the immediate why’s that are floating in my head so I gotta run, thanks for what you are doing it’s really making a difference for me and my team.
Hey John,
By all means let me know how it goes. It’s great to hear that these ideas are having a *practical* impact. 🙂
“The art and science of persuasion is an interesting topic because the biggest fans of “persuasion techniques†are usually scumbags, looking for ways to brainwash prospect customers or the opposite sex, for nefarious purposes.”
Ha! You left out some other fans – like billion dollar foundations that finance social engineering studies in attempt to eventually create complete “scientific” control of behavior and culture. And of course the politicians, media and public relations folks who love to use these “persuasion techniques” to mold our minds and direct our thoughts. And I’m sure I’m missing a few other “fans” but that’s a start.
Hey Christopher! Sounds like we’ve got a conspiracy theorist in the house 😛
I’m inclined to believe that unethical persuasion most often remains *attempted* persuasion… It’s tough to convince someone to do something unless they can see a direct benefit from taking action.
Of course, you could always lie about the benefits… but lying is another story I think.
I was secretly hoping someone might kick off an ethics discussion in the comments here 😉 well done.
You wrote:
“I’m inclined to believe that unethical persuasion most often remains *attempted* persuasion… It’s tough to convince someone to do something unless they can see a direct benefit from taking action.”
Are you saying that unethical persuasion is unsuccessful persuasion?
And as to convincing someone unless they see a direct benefit – I don’t agree.
There are different types of persuasion. Most unethical persuasion uses triggers without substance. ie – manufactured social proof.
There is usually no direct benefit to the individual and they are making the decision based on heuristics. This works fine when we aren’t tricked.
I think there is a difference between lying and persuasion. If you can successfully lie… Then persuasion becomes a non issue because the persuader/sales person is no longer operating within the boundaries of truth.
So yes, false social proof might help sales…. But persuasion would be, for example, convincing people that it’s okay that you don’t have any social proof.
Peter,
I think we’re getting off track.
You said that ‘unethical persuasion often remains as “attempted” persuasion.’
I’m trying to figure out what you mean by that.
And as to the second point – I was saying that you don’t always need a direct benefit to convince someone to do something. Often a trigger is sufficient.
People do lots of things for no good reason at all – and then they come up with a reason later if they need it to feel better or need someone else to feel better. Often a salesman needs to have these reasons to make the sale – NOT because they are persuasive and make someone act – but because they create the mental framework that makes it OK for the person to do what they already wanted to do.
Christopher,
What I meant by the unethical persuasion comment is that it isn’t really possible… or calling it “persuasion” isn’t really appropriate. For purely pragmatic reasons, I separate Lying and Persuasion as mutually exclusive.
So you can lie to someone and make a sale, for example… but I wouldn’t (want to) label that as “persuasion”.
Or, you could persuade someone and make a sale – all the while telling the truth. It is this later approach that I’m interested in and in my experience most folks who attempt to use “persuasion techniques” for unethical means usually don’t succeed.
In fact, very often such people are only using the “persuasion techniques” as a form of proactive denial… Denial that their proposition is a rip-off etc.
I think you’re spot on with your second point. It is an age old sales tactic and cliche: To sell a man a Porsche you need only tell him what to tell his wife 🙂
Nested comments cut off on me, so I’ll pick it up here. Peter wrote:
I’ve got to make a confession: you copywriters have known about this stuff for ages. You’re experts at it. This principal is nothing new – it’s just communicating the benefits. I knew this when I wrote this post.
However…. what I’ve noticed is that people don’t use the Why technique in their interpersonal communication. That’s what my point *really* is here. Why limit your best selling techniques to copy? Why not unleash them in conversation to sell IDEAS too?
Well, I can’t speak for other people, but I like to think I do this often when trying to convince someone. When I write to clients, I use this. When I’m working hard on my kids, I use this. I don’t think about it, but I know that it comes to me and that I put some of the techniques into practice.
But as you say, I’m a copywriter. Influence and persuasion is my job. For sure what I do every day is going to carry into my personal life as well.
And, to rant back at you, your first few paragraphs got my back up. *grin* Scumbags? Nefarious purposes? Tsk. Please. I assure you that almost all copywriters I know are decent people with good intentions.
Now those internet marketers… Hmmmmmm….;)
But I’m sure you can appreciate the power of a first paragraph that grabs your attention and keeps you reading 😛
Touché – though as a professional writer, I would’ve worded it differently 😉
It’s good to know that even professional writers can’t resist having the last word 😉
*waits patiently*
I wouldn’t want to keep you waiting. What might happen if I jarred your expectations and didn’t show up with that LAST WORD I LOVE?!!
😉
I love light sabers too. If only we could all have one and cut through the crap sometimes to just deliver the perfect message to our target market.
Cut out all the other stuff and just say `Here’s your problem, here’s the solution and this is WHY you need it’.
I’ve recently started writing sales/ landing pages (I know I’m so late on this) and it’s been a fascinating experiment, testing and trialling.
One thing I’ve realised is that no matter how great your message is, how compelling your why is, if you’re not speaking to the right people then it doesn’t count. So understanding your market and knowing your customers’ needs is all important – always.
I think that idea of “target market” has grown even more important since the Internet began.
Why? Because your sales pitch can’t be flexible online. It can’t watch for feedback and change itself to suit the reader better. In face to face selling, persuasion is SO useful because it can give you the flexibility to sell to almost anyone! Online though?… We have to make sure we find large groups of similar people, then craft the pitch to suit them as much as we can.
@Christopher – I think I need some clarification on the point you’re trying to make, because I just can’t see it.
Persuasion is the art of convincing someone to do something *they already want to do*. You cannot make someone do what they don’t want to do, but you can work at them to change their mind and convince them that they’re making the right choice.
Unethical persuasion *attempts* to change someone’s mind – usually by outright lying, blinding people to the truth, etc. They ususally see through that, or at least get a bad gut instinct (that they often ignore). Ergo, attempted persuasion.
But persuasion is (see above) nearly an art. It’s perfectly ethical. Parents do it all the time with their kids.
The mental framework of a salesman you speak of IS persuasion. It’s the art of presenting arguments and dismantling them before the client does, it’s using influential tactics to highlight benefits, etc.
But like I said, I don’t really “get†your comment, so… I’m not sure where you were going with the salesman bit. Peter seems to get it, so that’s good enough for me. 🙂
Peter,
I just wanted to step out of the shadows and say, “Great post!”
I’ll be sure to pass this great info along to my colleagues.
Many Thanks!
Michael
Hey Michael, so are you one of my invisible loyal readers? If so, welcome to the light! 😛 it’s more fun than the shadows
Great post, Peter.
@ James. I agree.
As a copywriter myself I can relate to it. In fact, this is the first thing that copywriters are trained to do. And yet many copywriters don’t get it. Just check most of the sales pages populating the web.