I’ve recently found myself frustrated to the point of tearing hair out, by clients of mine who believe that generating more word-of-mouth, referral sales is the answer to all their bottom-line problems.

I’ve got to admit, the logic is appealing:

If you (Mr business owner/sales person) could only find a couple of friends within your social network who want what you’ve got, you can meet up with ’em… sell it to ’em and you’ll be on easy street!

The problem is, this principal is absolute bull$*%@…. and in the real world, it seldom works.

The reason sales people and biz owners are attracted to this method is that it enables them to feel a little more comfortable about the selling process.

By phoning up old friends or ex-colleagues to schedule a coffee and tell them all about “what I’m up to these days” you’re actually side-stepping around any real selling.

You’ll get a major kick (and a dose of warm fuzzy satisfaction) out of the short term success of setting “appointments”.

Problem is, when you go along to the appointment you’ll discover that your “networks” are filled with people who are keen for a coffee and a catchup… often just as an excuse to get out of the office.

Ready for the harsh truth? They don’t want to buy anything.

A lot of sales-reps use this strategy to keep their schedule bursting with appointments – it really helps them look productive.

Want to know the worst part? By engaging in this type of pseudo-sales networking, you actually risk damaging valuable personal relationships with some of your great contacts.

When you phone up to ask for a coffee date, your buddies don’t expect to be sold… any attempt at doing so is only going to lower the temperature on their lead status (and your personal relationship).

Nevertheless, biz owners and sales people are out there doing this everyday. More often than not, they’re also getting frustrated about their results…. which would be inconsistent at best or (more likely) dismally poor.

Don’t get me wrong…

I believe in networking. I’m positive that word-of-mouth is the most powerful form of advertising in existence!

What I’m really trying to say is that, in order to be succesful, our understanding of how networking works needs to change.

The Facts:

1. The only good-quality referrals (i.e. that make you money) come from people who have already bought something from you

2. Having coffee with the friends of your existing clients/customers is infinitely more profitable, professional and ethically enjoyable than subjecting your real friends to untimely, inappropriate soft-selling.

3. Referred business should be calling you. If you have to chase them up and harass them for a coffee date, then you’re doing something wrong and it isn’t a real referral.

It’s all true – successfully getting your head around numbers 1 through 3 is what sales (and to some extent business) success is all about.

I welcome your feedback, questions or examples-to-the-contrary in the comments section below…