The problem with personal development is that it’s overwhelming. When you’re trying to improve your thinking and change your behavior, there are literally thousands of techniques to wrap your head around. There are countless daily rituals to remember and observe.
Today I’m on a mission to help you simplify. I’m serving up a quick guide to the single, highest leverage psychological tactic there is. If you focus on nothing else, you’ll still be able to massively boost your wealth, freedom and impact.
The power of questions
We’re meaning making machines, us humans. That is, we experience this weird thing we call “reality” and make meaning out of it.
This process is happening continuously at the deepest part of your unconscious mind. There’s a little engine in there, that never stops asking the following two questions:
What does this mean to me? And how does that make me feel?
Thousands of times a second you ask yourself these questions. And thousands of times a second, your unconscious mind answers. The asking and answering of these two questions might just be the definition of consciousness!
On top of those two basic questions, we all ask ourselves a plethora of more specific questions – some more unconsciously than others. What’s so important about this?
Your unconscious mind will answer any question you pose it
This is your most powerful and dangerous truth. Any question you ask, you will eventually receive an answer to. This is the key to your potential.
Sadly, most humans spend their lives asking themselves questions like:
- Why does this bad stuff keep happening to me?
- What have I done to deserve this?
- When will things get better?
All of these questions presuppose a fairly lame reality. The answers to these questions can’t be anything other than stinky.
How to transform your life for the better
The quality of your psychology and your life comes down do the quality of questions you ask of yourself. Einstein posed some real sticklers and eventually found the answers. Why can’t you? You could ask yourself anything.
Here are some of my favorites:
How much do I have to be grateful for today?
Note that I don’t ask “do I have anything to be grateful for?” … my question presupposes there is SOMETHING to be grateful for, and simply asks the unconscious to quantify it. Think counting-your-blessings.
How many of my goals can I massively move forward today?
Again, note the inherent presuppositions of this question. The implications are important to channel the question-answering power of your unconscious mind in the perfect direction.
How many people can I help in a profound way today?
This one should be obvious.
How much fun can I have as I carry out my commitments today?
All those things you’re telling yourself you SHOULD do…You’re supposed to want to do them.
How much can I learn today?
If you’re not learning, you’re not growing.
Note that every one of these ends with the word “today”. Asking better questions should be a daily ritual. If you only have one daily practice, this should be it.
By conditioning yourself to ask high quality questions, you condition your mind to think optimistically. You’ll begin to effortlessly anticipate success. Relentless progress will become the status quo of your existence.
Asking better questions will transform your life and business.
What types of questions should you be asking yourself for maximum effect? Leave a comment…
Great post and our toughest opponent is for sure ourselves. Just started reading more on NLP also and really powerful stuff. Thanks.
Hi Mike, thanks for stopping by. NLP is a great field to dive into – enjoy it!
Yes. Good post. This post reminded me of a quote by the late Dr. Thomas Szasz, “There is no psychology, there is only biography and autobiography.”
I think that it goes something like that. (;
Hi Michael! There’s a good Tony Robbins quote that you’ve reminded me of: “Biography is not destiny!”
Thanks for swinging by to comment 🙂
Good post. This reminded me of something that people struggle a lot with .
Meaningful question that one ask to him/herself determine the result gotten.
Thank you.
Thank you Peter I Love this post!
I guess that means it ticks all the boxes in my thinking.
I really relate to transforming my life and love that inquisitive energy I can draw on to do this.
The one question I would love to find my perfect answer to is the one that would unlock the value I place on more personal goals. Fitness for example I am trying to find the little nugget that will fire that jet engine up! I used to be right into it – now I feel less motivated.
Any little gems on questions to help re kindle the fitness with a passion fire?
I appreciate your thinking.
Siita, if I may weigh in… Two things. One is “desire”. Do you really want to become fit? Is it important to you? Is there something in you that says, “wow, I’ve -got- to hit that treadmill for half an hour today because it makes me feel good”?
The second is “do”. Commit to a schedule or set a few appointments for yourself in your appt book. A lot of times, desire for such things come only after taking some level of action.
Mike
Mike. No wow just yet..on the treadmill I’m just thinking ..holy **** I’ve just got so much I’m responsible for..
but ..I appreciate your comments..so much so that I’ll commit to scheduling that first appointment most likely with someone who can keep me on track ’til I get to the ‘I remember how good this feels’ part.
so thank you..Siita
I would maybe ask a couple of really specific ones:
How much fun can I have doing X fitness thing today?
and also, just for brainstorming purposes:
When have I been really fired up about fitness? What was it about that, that lit my fire?
Asking those questions, btw, is what lead me down the path to the world’s longest downhill ski race… and the incredible (relative to my usual laziness) feat of training I’ve been doing in preparation.
Thanks Peter – great info. Only one answer really – Just do it!!
The downhill thing – That’s coming up isn’t it?
I look forward to reading about how you go on that journey.
Go team kiwi !
When I was young, pre-teen, I discovered if I asked a question just as I was about to fall asleep, I would often wake up with the answer. If not the next morning, then within the next day or two.
Now, I’ll give the daily question a go, Peter, and see what I can do with it 🙂
Will
I’ve heard of this technique as well Will – it’s a bit metaphysical to explain, but there’s definitely something about tapping into the unconscious while one is asleep. Awesome.
Great stuff, Peter! I love your list of questions.
For getting myself through very tough situations — chemo, chemo recovery, bad breakups, etc. — my favorite empowering questions include:
What CAN I do?
You can do SOMETHING in virtually ANY circumstances — and this question has helped me work myself out of some tough, tough spots.
What can I learn from this?
If you get a bad outcome, this question can help you avoid it in the future. If you get a good outcome, this question can help you repeat it.
Joy, this is awesome. Thank you so much for sharing. I particularly love the “What can I learn from this?” question.
When we frame experience as learning, it really helps soften the blow of mistakes we make. It’s an attitude and set of beliefs that I believe are directly connected to our mental health. Focus on learning and you’ll live happier and healthy.
On days I’m feeling low or unmotivated, I simply ask, “how can I be awesome today?” It’s easy because there’s usually one thing I’m really looking forward to on the to-do list. So I do that first, when I can, and it kicks my motivation into high gear for the rest of the day.
Hey JR, thanks for sharing this. Simple and no doubt super effective – I’m gonna start asking this too!
Awesome, JR! How can I be awesome today is an excellent question, and one I am going to add to my daily practice, too. As you say, there’s always something a person can do to “be awesome”! This question will help get me out of ruts in my thinking and behavior, and encourage me to go beyond ordinary levels of performance. Thanks — this is just what I need!
Joy and Peter, I’m glad you find my question helpful. If you want to take it to the next level, challenge yourself with a time constraint.
For example, I am going to be awesome today by catching up on my laundry. Since that’s pretty easy, I’m challenging myself to get half of it done before lunch (I usually wait until the late afternoon/evening to do it). Then I’ll have the afternoon to be even MORE awesome.
Fake comment for testing.
Please delete.
…or just leave it for a little extra flava.
Great post! I am wracking my brain to think of other questions to add. But frankly, its just that simple. These are powerful and profound questions!! It does not have to be some huge daily operation to improve your daily mindset.
You placed a comment on my website http://www.successwitholifecoaching and I was curious… so I came to check your website. I was pleasantly surprised. It is wonderful! I signed up to receive your newsletter and I also downloaded one of your e books. Thank you so very much!
Have a great week!